Unused Script: "Batman vs. The Hunger Games"

March 28, 2012

Unused Script: “Batman vs. The Hunger Games”

Before we came up with “Books vs. Movies” which became this week’s Messy Mondays video, we had other ideas. One in particular got about as close to being shot as a script can get, before we ultimately decided to just trash it.

We’ve done this before- I had a good chunk of “The Problem with Christian Bands” written way back in the middle of January before deciding to go in a different direction. But because this one is a lot more “time-sensitive,” I doubt we’d ever shoot it now. e’re just always really cautious when and where to use Batman, because while some people really enjoy it (as we do), I think the vast majority of the people that watch our videos don’t really get it. Understandable. So here is the short-but-sweet script for “Messy Mondays: Batman vs. The Hunger Games.” It was probably going to get fleshed out a little by the time we actually shot it, but this is the basic idea.

Hello Messy Kids. I have had what can only be described as a spiritual experience at the Box office this weekend. If not for my pinnacle of film “The Dark Knight” I would proclaim it the greatest film of all time. I laughed, I cried, it was the greatest movie I’ve ever seen.

I’m talking of course about the Hunger Games. Here’s basically what happens. Once a year, the Capitol makes 24 kids compete in “The Hunger Games.” They put them in an Arena and make them fight to the death. Last one standing wins. Now doesn’t that sound like Batman’s kind of movie or what? But forget the movie, that kind of game is a genius idea in the first place, and one I’ve been calling for for years. A game designed to weed out the wimps, survival of the fittest style. These days it’s all about making sure no one’s feelings are hurt, everybody wins, all this batpoo… The Hunger Games sounds like a game for real WINNERS.

In fact right here right now, I’m announcing the Batman Hunger Games. That’s right, if you want to apply, give me a bat-call. I’m searching for the new Robin. That boy is a wimp. I’ve run out of patience with him. Heck, I’ll make him compete too! We’ll see if he’s as strong as he’s constantly whining to me that he is… “Please Batman, let me scale that wall with you.” No Robin, I’m afraid your scrawny little legs might break and I’ll have to carry you home.

All in all, I’d give this movie 0 Hockey Pants out of 5. Because this thing is the real deal. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to track Katniss down and found out how serious she is about that Gale guy. Batman OUT.

10:12am | URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVv8nwIhulLJ
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(Notes: 21)